Wine Drinkers Horoscope

Forget dream analysis, Rorschach, Tarot, tea leaves,  magnets, crystals, palm reading and Peter Answers. I can predict your personality type and even your future by the type of wine you drink. I can do this with beer styles too, but wine is more accurate and more fun. Remember the Latin 'In vino veritas' (In wine is truth.). If you don't drink wine, that says a lot about you also. We'll start out with the sweet wines and move on to the dragons blood that I drink.

Teetotaler: You are complex. You avoid strong drink, but it often isn't for the reasons that you tell people. You are deeper person than you let on. Basically, you don't trust yourself and you sometimes don't listen to your own inner wisdom. Worry is your ruling passion. Your icon: Michelle and Jim Duggar


Lambrusco: This wine is so 7-11 makes Slurpees of it for parents to give kids in place of Ritalin. If you like Lambrusco, you're non-confrontational and a bit dull. You want to be thought a wine enthusiast but don't want the commitment of a good dry red wine hangover. You'd make a good supervisor. Your ruling passion is caution. Your icon? Dan Quayle, Thomas Jefferson


  White Zinfandel or Grenache: Starting to get just a hint of fruit here. Slightly risky. And that's your personality. You're hiding something. You long to be naughty but still need safety. You could be a lot of fun at a party, but alas no one will ever know. That ultra conservative superego will never let you enjoy wilder. Like red zinfandel--now that's fun! You live vicariously and have a strong future as an author of romance novels. Fear is your ruling passion. Your icon? Prince Charles, Richard Nixon


  Pinot Grigio: Blah wine with fancy name. Teasing nose, prudish finish. Poser. Occupation: celebrity. Your ruling passion is show without go. Your icon? Pick one.


  Chardonnay: Now you're beginning to play the big league. Chardonnay perches between semi-dry red and dry white in a nice juxtaposition. If I didn't love red so much I'd drink Chardonnay. You are strong, idealistic, resolute and intelligent. You can see life on the other side of the wine fence; the wild dry red blow-outs, the table dancing with lampshades. But you are committed to doing the right thing. I admire Chardonnay drinkers. Ideally you'd be the perfect president, realistically you're probably a teacher or human rights activitist. Integrity is your ruling passion. Your icon: Gen. Robert E. Lee, Gandhi, Bella Abzug


  Pinot Noir: Like Loki, Mercury or Anansi the Spider you are a devious one. In common with your baby sister Pinot Grigio, you fool people and lead them on. Except you're all grown up and should know better. After all, you're a dry red. But you're also a sort of an adult child. You've never matured. Your job ideally should be circus performer or carnival ride operator. Unfortunately realistically you're a politician. Your passion is unreliability. Your icon? Rasputin, Peter Pan, George W. Bush.


  Red Merlot: You're a scion. But half-blood. A bastard. You have the personality, but you lack breeding and poise. You were born on the wrong side of the blankets. You are nouveau riche. And you've got the attitude to prove it. Your job is bookie or salesman but you could have been something better. Ruling passion: ruthlessness and resentment. Your hero? Stanley Kowalski, Rhett Butler, Molly Brown.


  Cabernet Sauvignon: You're the opposite of Red Merlot in many ways. You've got title without the money to support it in the lifestyle that your family was accustomed to. Your nose is in the air and your blood is blue. But you don't amount to as much as your ancestors did because life's much more damnably expensive. Your future is unsure. It's for you to decide. Do you make something of yourself on your own steam or wallow in your misery? Your ruling passion is pride. Your hero? Earl of Grantham, Lord Robert.


  Burgundy: You are the genuine article. Old Etonian. The right stuff. You're resting on your laurels and why shouldn't you? You deserve it. Quite right. But if you aren't careful, you'll be swept away by a new generation of doers and achievers. Again, fate uncertain. Remain safe or join the fight. Your job? Labor leader, recognized artist. Your ruling passion is stability. Your icon: Neville Chamberlin.


  Shiraz/ Petit Syrah. That's what I'm talking about! Not in any league anyone else plays in, you march to another drum beat. Ancient, primeval and oriental.  You are devout and mystical. You hear voices of prophecy and wisdom. You are all times and all places. Your ruling passion is: BE. Occupation: priest or unrecognized poet, author, musician, artist, writer. Your icon? Chief Joseph, Maya Angelous, George Washington Carver.

Carmenere. Your song has yet to be sung; your song to be written. No one has any idea what to expect from you. You're rich with promise, yet you still have to prove yourself. Occupation: prophet, missionary, student, freed slave. Hero: Jean Valjean, Moll Flanders


  Happy imbibing.


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Freelance writer, Top 100 Yahoo! Voices, Yahoo! News, Shine, Michigan, Detroit), blogger, teacher, mom of 4, happily married 25 years. Graduated GVSU 1986, psychology/general education and special education. continuing ed up to present. Certified MI teacher. Writing Michigan history mystery, children's Gothic fantasy. Areas of expertise: education, relationships, mental health, nutrition, history, world cultures. Passions: faith, Catholic church, sustainable living, interfaith initiatives, living simply that others might simply live. Working on MA in EI education. 

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